Half way to nowhere

Half way through the year I  am looking at the mantras I created for myself for 2012 and I am thinking not only am I not achieving the Zen I had intended but I must have been in a post Christmas sugar high to think that I could change in those ways.

I like mantras better then goals.  For me the toughest part of changing is changing my thinking.  New habits are hard too but changing my heart and mind are the biggest struggle.  Some of my mantras for this year were:  ‘Contract, Purge, Let Go’ and ‘Do Less, Be More’ and ‘Put the House in Order.’

My biggest internal conflict is that I try to take on too much and I try to do it all perfectly.   I overestimate what I can do and underestimated how much time, energy and money it will take.   

So this morning I am picking the first strawberry harvest.  Alternately I am living in the moment and in a funk over what’s not getting done.  I love the morning cool, the feel of the pluck when the strawberry gently releases from the plant, the taste of the best strawberries ever.  Also I am thinking that this is the start of canning season and I never got those beans canned I was going to do over the winter.   And I forgot to check my canning supplies and order what I can’t get locally.   And I can’t seem to find time to mop my kitchen floor how am I going to get strawberry jam done? 

To end on a positive note- we will have some amazing strawberry jam soon!

By orderfromthechaos

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