Hearts are made to be broken

I am struggling to let go of Atticas.  I don’t want to get rid of any of his toys, food, or even his litter boxes.  I want to pretend he is just hiding under the bed and will come sit by me any minute now.  I don’t want to cry because then it will be too real.  I feel no need to fix this.  I fully intend to sit with the struggle for a while. 

One of the life lessons I learned as a foster parent is that the fear of heartbreak prevents us from living in a way that allows our hearts to heal.  Hearts are made to be broken.  And today I am taping the break together and caressing the crack.  Maybe tomorrow I will let it fall open and let the sorrow wash me clean.  Maybe not till next week. 

I have been going through pictures of last summer and remembering all that happened and I am amazed that I survived it all intact.  I can also see so much more clearly how important it is for me to simplify and organize the chaos.  I need more room in my home, my day, and my heart for all the good things that will heal and break my heart. 


By orderfromthechaos

One comment on “Hearts are made to be broken

  1. I cry with you and I understand. Thank you for holding the tape when my heart broke, I am glad to help hold the tape for you when you are ready to repair. Glad to hear you are clearing out and cleaning up. Me too.

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