Hearts are made to be broken

I am struggling to let go of Atticas.  I don’t want to get rid of any of his toys, food, or even his litter boxes.  I want to pretend he is just hiding under the bed and will come sit by me any minute now.  I don’t want to cry because then it will be too real.  I feel no need to fix this.  I fully intend to sit with the struggle for a while. 

One of the life lessons I learned as a foster parent is that the fear of heartbreak prevents us from living in a way that allows our hearts to heal.  Hearts are made to be broken.  And today I am taping the break together and caressing the crack.  Maybe tomorrow I will let it fall open and let the sorrow wash me clean.  Maybe not till next week. 

I have been going through pictures of last summer and remembering all that happened and I am amazed that I survived it all intact.  I can also see so much more clearly how important it is for me to simplify and organize the chaos.  I need more room in my home, my day, and my heart for all the good things that will heal and break my heart. 

 

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By orderfromthechaos

One comment on “Hearts are made to be broken

  1. I cry with you and I understand. Thank you for holding the tape when my heart broke, I am glad to help hold the tape for you when you are ready to repair. Glad to hear you are clearing out and cleaning up. Me too.

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